


Me + You

by honeybearbee



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Season/Series 03, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 15:17:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11580729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybearbee/pseuds/honeybearbee
Summary: Bantering equals love. Really.





	Me + You

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: MAJOR spoilers for Season 3 finale.
> 
> NOTES: This is kind of kimberlyfdr’s fault cause she said this about the Season 3 finale: "Anyway, back to John and his queerness. [...] then he sees Rodney and Radek's bickering as foreplay and they should just make out to work through the sexual tension. What does this say about John and Rodney because for all the bickering Rodney and Radek do, it's nowhere near the John/Rodney action." It totally gave me the idea for this. Also, if you know where the title comes from, I’ll give you virtual cookies.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Sadly, I don't own Rodney, John, or anyone else mentioned. If I did, there would be way more boy kissing. Also, I make no money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time. And make them to my bidding. *evil laugh*

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard banged his head against a wall. Ronan watched on with amusement.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked.

John banged his head again. “McKay,” John said, as if that was all that needed to be said.

“What about him?”

“He’s with Zelenka.”

Ronon looked at John as if he’d grown another head. “So, he always is.”

“That’s the problem.” Another bang.

Ronon just shook his head.

****

_“Why don’t you just make out?” said John as Rodney and Radek bickered about who was in charge of what._

_Rodney looked over at Radek with a speculative gleam in his eyes. “Hmm. You might be onto something Colonel Sheppard. Radek, shall we?”_

_Radek grinned at Rodney and nodded._

_John could only look on in shock and a little horror as Rodney and Radek proceeded to make out in front of him. He couldn’t move, he was stuck to the spot. He tried to close his eyes, but the sounds seemed worse. He opened his mouth to yell at them to “knock it off, he’d only been joking”._

John woke up sweating. “I hate dreams like that.”

That was the third time he had the dream since John had said those fatal words.

“Maybe I should just go talk to McKay,” he muttered. There was only a little time before he tried to fly Atlantis. John needed to have a clear head or else he could crash the city. Not that he thought Atlantis would let him, but he would feel better. John left his room and walked towards McKay. And possibly his doom, if McKay was asleep.

****

A loud banging on his door awaked Dr. Rodney McKay.

“This had better be important or I’m going to hurt you,” he growled as he got up from his comfy bed. “I only have three hours left before I need to get the city ready! And my sleep is vital to things going smoothly! And who the hell is it any ways?”

“Me,” came the muffled reply.

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Oh, yes. That’s very informative. Try again.”

“Sheppard.”

“What do you want?”

“I want to talk to you. Open the door or I can do it myself.”

“Fine.” Rodney opened the door and Colonel Sheppard stumbled in. “What do you _have_ to talk about at this time of the night, just hours before you try to fly a city?”

“You haven’t made out with Zelenka have you?” John blurted out.

“What? Why is that your business? Oh my god, are you homophobic? How did you find out about me anyhow? Wasn’t it Kavanagh? That little dick, I’m going to disembowel him if I ever see him again. Are you going to beat me up now? Do I have to leave the team? I don’t want that. I like hanging out with you, Teyla, and Ronon. You’re my first friends,” Rodney babbled away oblivious to John.

“Rodney. Rodney. RODNEY!” John yelled and finally got Rodney’s attention.

“What now? Is this where you beat me up?”

John sighed. “I’m not going to beat you up. I’m not homophobic. Kavanagh never told me, you just did. You don’t have to leave the team and you’re my best friend. I just wanted to know if you and Zelenka were a...thing.”

“A thing?”

“You know, together. As a couple.” 

Rodney was confused now, and he hated being confused. So he scowled and asked, “Why do you want to know?”

“Well, you bicker a lot. And everyone knows that bickering equals love.”

“Who’s everyone?”

“Any Jane Austen novel and Shakespearian romance.”

“You’ve read Jane Austen?”

“That’s not the point!” John exclaimed.

“Then what is the point?” Rodney was getting exasperated.

“Are you sleeping with Zelenka or not!”

“No! Why would I? He’s nowhere near as good looking as you are!” Rodney clapped his hands over his mouth.

John’s jaw dropped. “What?” he squeaked.

Rodney shook his head and refused to move his hands. John went closer to Rodney and pulled at his hands.

“Come on Rodney. Tell me what you said,” John whispered in Rodney’s ear.

Rodney swallowed and said, “You’re better looking than Radek. And possible smarter. You’re hair is much more funny than his. You have the gene. You had the same thought I did about the chair at the same time. Plus, you play a mean game of Prime-Not Prime.”

John chuckled and licked Rodney’s neck. “That’s good to know.”

Rodney moaned. “Why did you want to know any ways?”

“Because I said you two should make out.”

Rodney rolled his eyes again and pushed John away.

“Hey!”

“Listen. John, you and I bicker more than Radek and I.”

“We banter. It’s different.”

“It’s really not. Everyone knows that bantering equals love.” Rodney pulled John back to him and led John to the bed. They fell back on it.

“Yeah, well. Just don’t go bantering **or** bickering with anyone as much as me. And my hair isn’t funny,” John bit Rodney’s neck and pulled on his shirt.

Rodney’s shirt came over his head. “Please. You bait me on purpose; I know it. You’re hair is ridiculously funny. Now shut up....”

John cut Rodney off with a kiss. “No bantering right now please. We’re going to be too busy in just a few moments,” he said as he pulled back.

Rodney whimpered and nodded. He then grabbed John’s hair and pulled him down for a kiss.


End file.
